


A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement

by Nimbus_Cloud



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Sugar Daddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-08 06:31:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nimbus_Cloud/pseuds/Nimbus_Cloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bureaucracy is the enemy of scientific endeavor.  Despite her best efforts, Hanji Zoe can't get the board to approve funding for her research.  But when a charming benefactor appears with the money, good looks, a sickening dose of smarm, and a very strong interest in her, she finds herself in a rather peculiar arrangement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“The board is ready for you, Miss Hanji.” 

“Thank you, Moblit.” 

She had her powerpoint in a thumb drive in the pocket of her faded-white labcoat, her laser pointer in her breast pocket, a folder full of hand-outs with extra facts, and her mind was swimming with the speech she had rehearsed for weeks leading up to this board meeting.  She would get them to approve her research proposal if it was the last thing she did. 

Stepping into the room, she greeted the room full of crotechety, old white men with a smile, noting the board members each in turn.  There was Darius Zackly, the oldest and most influential member of the board, its voice, its face—if he wasn’t on board with an idea, no one would be.  The key was to make sure that she got his interest and kept it.

Dot Pixis was a man whose age did little to hinder his personality.  He went to nearly every public function held by the organization, drank heartily, and smiled often.  He was the most outwardly charming and warm, but he never made impulse decisions either.  He would never make a decision that wasn’t rooted in reason. 

Balto Madison was the definition of fat and lazy.  He brought no grace, no distinction, no knowledge; all he had were large sums of money.  If the money didn’t flow, she would never get her research off the ground.

Keith Shadis was an old army doctor, and his demeanor screamed of the battlefield still.  He was stern and unyielding, and those sunken eyes felt like staring into the depths of hell, but he was more open to new ideas than anyone let on.  She was sure she’d have his vote in the bag. 

Nile Dawk.  Hanji swallowed a visceral reaction to grimace in distaste at the man.  She had never quite forgiven him for many of the layoffs in previous years, firing employees of many years in good standing when finances were tight, claiming sacrifice, but always preserving his privileged realm of convenience.  Not to mention she hated the way he sneered at her and tried to flirt using his snobbery.  She knew that if he ever gave his approval for her research it would only be to demand favors in return.  And the only favor she’d be willing to give was a right old beating.  Plus he looked like a goat.

But there was a sixth gentleman in the room, seated in the back.  A handsome young man, looked to be about the same age range as Nile, wearing an expensive coat and staring keenly at her.  His gaze was unnerving, and she chose to ignore him.  He wasn’t a board member, after all. 

“Gentlemen, good afternoon,” she began.  “Today I’d like to begin by—“

“I don’t think it’s worth investing in.” A voice piped up immediately.  It was Nile.  Sitting there with a smug grin on his face, he drawled on.  “It’s such an undeveloped area of research, we don’t know what we’re throwing our money into, really.  Limb regeneration,” he scoffed.  “It’s the stuff of comic books, wouldn’t you say Zackly?” 

“Well, if you’d allow me to begin my presentation—“ she began to pass out her pamphlets, but then Balto chimed in—ever keen to jump on the first opinion presented as one who could never quite form an opinion of his own. 

“There’s money flying everywhere these days between stem cells and robot limbs, what need does anyone have to actually grow a limb back anymore?  There are people who even prefer their prosthetics now!”  He let out a rough laugh, spitting into his own beard and patting himself proudly on his belly. 

“Gentlemen, if you’d kindly look at the papers I’ve just handed to you—“

“We’ve already seen your multiple proposals, we understand what this meeting is for,” Nile interrupted.  “I just don’t see that we should waste time discussing it for too long.” 

“It’s not a waste, Mr. Dawk,” and the proper words tasted like mud on her tongue.  “Researching the regenerative abilities of various organisms for application for mammalian medicine is vital and can be useful for much _much_ more than simple limb regeneration.  We can learn so much about wound healing in general with reference to our bodies—i-if you’d just look on page—“

“And when can we expect to see the results of this work?  Who else in the field is working on this sort of thing?”  Nile harped. 

“Personally, I find it an interesting idea,” Pixis chimed in, drumming his fingers on the table above her handout.  “But it’s true that for all your research so far, you cannot give us a projected date for any solid results.”

“Progress is progress.  Every small step ensures a better future in health care,” barked Shadis.  He spoke in her defense, but his abrasive personality would do little to convince the others. 

“Assuming there _is_ progress,” Nile mumbled. 

“Gentlemen, please!”  She rushed her way to the computer at the head of the room, plugging in her thumb drive and drawing up her presentation on the projector as fast as the computer would allow.  All the meeting had been so far was old men talking in circles without giving her a chance to present her work.  The science, the facts would speak for themselves if they would only let them.  And if she had to duct tape their bearded mouths shut, she’d—

“Zackly, I’ve quite made up my mind on the matter.”  Nile said as the first of her slides came up on the screen behind her.  “It’s not in the company’s best interests at this time.” 

“Based on the recent work done at the Dresden University of Technology in which Doctors Khattak, Richter, and Tanaka they made a breakthrough in transgenic—“ Hanji tried plowing ahead.

“I quite agree with Nile, stem cells and prosthetics have shown much more promise for the much more immediate term.  I don’t see this going anywhere fast.”  And the refusal was put in by Madison. 

“—transgenic axoltls generation in—“

“That’s two.  Pixis?”

“Would you all just listen for one second and shut the hell up?!”  And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew her funding was out the window. 

A victorious grin spread over Nile’s face. 

“Well, I think that wraps that up then.” 

And finally, at long last, the gruff voice of Darius Zackly graced the room, and he gazed at her somberly over his half-moon rims. 

“Miss Hanji, while your enthusiasm and passion are to be admired, without a projected timeline of progress or results, it’s not within Titan Corporation’s best interests to invest in this endeavor.” 

Her shoulder slumped. 

“But, sir—“

“This meeting is adjourned.” 

The sound of their chairs scraping against the floors drowned out her weak protests, and one by one they left the room, Nile last of all, who gave her one last triumphant sneer before strutting out like a peacock on display.  He looked ridiculous, she thought.  But then, so did she.  Pulling out her thumb drive and gathering up her papers dejectedly, she was startled when the man from the back of the room moved at last.  He hadn’t said a word, barley moved during the entire meeting, and she had nearly forgotten he was even there. 

“That was a nightmare,” he said, standing from his seat and taking up the final pamphlet on the table.  “I’m sorry you didn’t even get to your presentation.”  There was the hint of a trans-Atlantic accent to accompany that baritone voice. 

“You and me both.  I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your—“

“Erwin.  Erwin Smith.”

“I’m Hanji.  Well, everyone always calls me Hanji, but I suppose my given name is Zoe.  You can call me whatever you like.  Sorry, why were you here?”

“I’m here visiting an acquaintance who sits on the board.” 

“Not Nile Dawk, I hope.”  She blurted. 

His only response was a polite smile.

“Oh god, it is.” She kicked herself in the head.  “Sorry.  Well, no, not really, if I’m going to be honest.”

“He can be quite the prat.” 

“Oh good, you’re not buddies,” she laughed. 

“I do believe the word I used was ‘acquaintance.’”

“Well, that’s not the word _I_ would use for Nile Dawk.” 

That earned her a chuckle.  It would have been a colorful word, he was sure.    

“Let me take you out for coffee.” 

“Pardon?” 

“A pick-me-up.  And it’s not as if you’ve anything better to do right now.” 

“Aren’t you here to see—“

“Well yes, but given the choice between Nile’s snooty face and an hour listening to your ideas, I’d have to say I much prefer the latter.” 

“You… want to hear more about my research?” 

He leaned in close, and it struck her that she had never seen eyes quite so icy blue. 

“Absolutely.” 

She swallowed, her fingers balling into a fist in her lab coat over her flash drive. 

“Well, I put together a presentation, I might as well give it to _someone_.” 

And give her presentation she did.  For a solid hour, even without her powerpoint and handouts, she filled Erwin’s head with the projected outline of her research plans, filling it with as much detail as she could between sips of coffee that grew cold long before she was finished. 

“—and really, the enemy of the healing process is fibrosis, and even just getting answers as to how we could decrease, even eliminate scar tissue from _any_ area of the body is—“

“So, it’s not about limb regeneration at all then.”

“Well, no.  Not really.  But that’s what ignited the flame in the scientific community, it’s just—well they never let me get that far.  And they’re right when they say that nobody else prominent is working on it.  I mean, they’re making artificial organs now.  Nobody really wants to hear about crap like what I’m working on.”  She drank from her coffee, now room temperature and less than tepid.  “But damn it if I’m giving up just because Nile Dawk can’t shut his mouth.  All new ideas have to start somewhere, and even if I never see results in my lifetime, at least I’ll have gotten it started!” 

He was smiling at her, and she didn’t like it.  He looked at her like she was precious, and it made her more than a little uncomfortable. 

“I’m sure you’ll make it happen somehow.” 

“Maybe if I win the lottery.” 

“Maybe you will,” and his smile was so knowing, so full of secrets, his tone was so certain.

“You’re not—you’re not mafia or anything, are you?” 

“Do I really seem the type?”

She leaned back in her chair, examining him.  Between his neatly parted hair, high-collar Burberry coat, and perfectly knotted double-windsor, she couldn’t read much from him at all.  Except that he had money.  And no small amount of class. 

“You definitely seem the type.” She leaned in close.  “So what’s the hook?  Drugs?  Smuggling?  Black market organ trading?” 

Erwin leaned right back, until their noses were inches apart.  “Sex.”

“Ooh, selling or buying?”  She raised an eyebrow.  He’d certainly be handsome enough to sell his body for a living, and it wouldn’t surprise her in the least.  But she wasn’t about to pay. 

“Depends on who you ask.” 

“You realize, you haven’t said ‘no’ to any of my questions so far.  So that definitely makes you mafia.”  She polished off the rest of her coffee in two succinct gulps, leaning back into her chair.  “Or at the very least, involved in _something_ illicit.” 

“If that’s so, then what does that say about you, having stuck around with me for this past hour?” 

“Oh, I’ve always known I like to play with fire.  I’m a scientist.” 

One corner of Erwin’s mouth twitched upward.  “That you are.” 

“And yet you look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

_Like a morsel to be eaten,_ she thought.  “…not like a scientist.” 

“Well, that’s not the only aspect of you, to be sure.”  He flagged the waitress down and passed her his card—platinum, she noted.  “I look forward to getting to know the rest of you.” 

“You assume you will.” 

“I assume you’ll let me.” 

God, he was a cheeky bastard.  No, cheeky wasn’t the right word for it.  Smarmy.  That was the one.  But he had been excellent company on the most disappointing afternoon of her life, so she thought she’d excuse it just this once. 

* * *

 

Of all the things Hanji expected to do when she got home—take a nice bath maybe (it had been at least a few days since her last shower), curl up with a book and a bottle of wine, why yes, she could drink an entire bottle on her own—mostly comfort things to make herself feel better about the day’s failures… having a heart attack was not on that list.  But the universe is rarely so kind as to care what you think you want to do with your day. 

Levi helped her off the ground where she fell after a bright, colorful, and very loud popper exploded in her face just as she opened the door. 

“Sorry, I thought you liked surprises.”  Levi mumbled in apology as he kicked a few stray specks of confetti from the doorway into the hall. 

“I—well, you’re sort of supposed to do that sort of thing once I’m IN the apartment.”

“I didn’t want confetti inside.”

“So you ambushed me at the door?” 

“There’s ice cream cake and Bailey’s.” 

“Oh good.  Just what I needed.”  She kicked off her shoes, ignoring Levi’s tongue clicking under his breath as he took her shoes and arranged them properly on the shoe rack behind her.  “Sweets and alcohol.  And sweet alcohol.”  She poured herself a tumbler halfway full of Bailey’s before holding it up with a half-smirk.  “Cheers.” 

“So you got the grant, then.”  Levi poured for himself a tumbler of honey whisky on the rocks and clinked his glass on hers. 

“What?  What are you—no!  No, of course I didn’t.” 

She slumped on the couch, pulling one of the cushions immediately into her lap and snuggling it as she downed more alcohol. 

“Then what are you so cheery about?” 

“What makes you think I’m cheery?” 

“Well you’re sure as hell not acting down.”  He cut two generous portions of ice cream cake (cookies & cream, of course) and set them onto plates before bringing them over to the couch. 

“Aren’t I?”  she mused, twirling the milky white liquid inside her glass and accepting the plate of cake with an appreciative smile. 

“For someone who was denied the research grant she’s been working so hard to get approved?  Yeah, I’d say you’re cheery, all things considered.” 

“Well I don’t know…” her head found its way to his shoulder, the prickly, unwashed hairs poking at his jaw.  “I was rejected; I’ll try again, no use moping about it post hoc.  I’m not giving up, this is just a minor setback.” 

She felt his lips on the crown of her head, and it amused her to think he’d be willing to kiss her hair even though she hadn’t washed it in days.  Levi was in a generous mood indeed. 

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered.

“Thanks.  Anyway, how are the kids?” 

“Loud, energetic, _overly_ energetic—“

“But not failing, easily distracted, or truant, I note.” 

“…you _are_ cheery.”  He shifted on the couch, pushing her head off and making her look him in the eye.  “Spill.”   

“Levi, you never actually have anything bad to say about your students.”

“Did you finally kick King Nile in his crown jewels?” 

“God I wish—they’d give me a medal as they booted me out the door.” 

“Breakthrough in the genome sequencing?” 

“Remember what you were just saying about overly energetic children?” 

“So you met someone.” 

“Hardly, we went out for coffee.” 

Levi’s thin brows were in danger of disappearing into his hair.  Hanji pursed her lips and took in a mouthful of cake.  Damn, she slipped. 

“You just haven’t shown any interest in anyone since Rico—“

“Says the one who was dumped by Petra _aaaages_ ago.” 

“Someone at the lab?  Tell me it’s _not_ Moblit—“

“What’s it to you if it were?  Moblit’s a nice guy!”

A sigh of relief.  So it wasn’t Moblit. 

“In any case, I’m not likely to see him again—“

_I assume you’ll let me_ , whispered a voice in her memory, making her spine tingle. 

“Him?” 

“Oh, please don’t tell me you’ve flattered yourself all these years into thinking you’d be the _only_ man I’d ever sleep with among my partners.” 

“I _am_ the only man you’ve ever slept with.  The rest—even the one night stands—have been women.” Levi recounted, only a little smugly. 

“Doesn’t mean you’re the only man I _will_ ever sleep with.”

“So you’re going to sleep with him.” 

“It’s starting to get a little bit scary now how interested you are in what goes between my legs.”

“When it’s not running on batteries—“

“Stop taking my bullets, by the way.”  She stood up abruptly, the melted cookies and cream running over her plate and seeping into the breading of the cake.  “Or at least return them when you’re done.  I’m going to go take a bath.” 

“God,” he gasped.  “Are you pregnant?” 

“Shut up and eat your fucking cake.” 

“It’s _your_ cake,” he said to her receding back. 

“And it’s my life,” came the final word before she closed the door to the bathroom. 

* * *

 

“Congratulations, Miss Hanji!!!” 

Poppers!  Why was it always poppers?  She grimaced at the pain in her bottom and glared at the bits of confetti and streamers that joined her on the floor.  _I’m going to ban you from my life_ , she vowed mentally to the small colored bits of paper.  Then she looked up at her beaming lab group and bit her lip guiltily. 

“I know I left early yesterday, but you guys know that our proposal was rejected, don’t you?”

Moblit helped her to her feet with a wide grin, his hands gripping hers as the others gathered round. 

“You also came in late today, so you’re not aware, but—“

“We got a donor!”  Sora shouted excitedly.  Her short bob-haircut quivered excitedly with each bounce, and she practically shoved Moblit out of the way to take her hands instead.  Her status as the youngest and as the intern didn’t serve to curb her enthusiasm at all.  “Outside funding, covered the whole shebang, so we can—“

“—go full speed ahead!”  piped in Keiji, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and beaming. 

“Who—“

“Erwin Smith.”  Came a gruff voice from the doorway, and the team turned to find Mr. Pixis standing there, a small envelope in his hand. 

“Erwin…” Hanji whispered, staring incredulously at the neatly scrawled writing on the back of that envelope.  _Oh, he’s **definitely** mafia.  _

“Mr. Smith expressed high hopes for your research, and has agreed to fund the project entirely… for the next three years.” 

“I…” 

“It seems you were quite persuasive, Miss Hanji.”  He pocketed the envelope in his breast pocket before extending his hand with a warm smile.  “Congratulations.” 

Still thoroughly bewildered, she took the hand that was offered, nodding vaguely in Mr. Pixis’ general direction and mumbling something about thank yous and working hard, before she was overwhelmed again by her lab team the moment the old man left.  In the rush of well wishes and happy cries, she thought two things above all else.

_I have to find him.  I have to thank him._

There might have been a small part of her mind that begged to ask where the money came from—because surely she’d have to refuse money taken from smuggling drugs through Mexican drug cartels—but it was quickly squashed by the exciting prospect of science.  Plenty of things in the world were purchased with blood money, and she wasn’t in a position to be picky. 

At the end of the day, there were usually other things to worry about, and at the end of that day, she was the last one to leave the lab (as always with the exception of the day before).  There hadn’t been a whole lot to do aside from ordering additional lab equipment and samples, working out where they would get a controlled group of laboratory-approved salamanders from, and working out how to get approval from animal rights over proper care and handling of the creatures that they would regularly be dismembering.  Honestly, there were others who injected field mice with cancer.  What was a lost limb compared to cancer?  Especially when it could grow it back. 

But back to the subject of things to worry about… there was a figure standing next to her car—the only other one in the lot besides a gleaming black Lexus.  A board member?  If it was Nile, she would give him a solid kick in the gonads for trying to sneak up on her at night in an empty parking lot.  Her fingers closed around the can of mace in her bag.  But as she got closer, a blond head turned to look (and smile) at her, and she instantly relaxed.  It was Erwin.

“I forgot something.”  he huffed into the cold night air, taking casual steps toward her. 

“And what was that?” 

Suddenly, his lips were on hers, and it was so trite and cliché, she was almost kissing back before she pushed him away and slapped those chiseled cheekbones. 

“Is this the part where you tell me nothing in life is free?”  And she had been so ready to show him some gratitude, too.  But there was a difference between waiting to receive it versus taking it.  It more than defeated the purpose. 

“Ah, but some things are,” he touched a hand to his cheek where she’d hit him.  “Your research grant, for example.” 

“Which I’m expected to pay back with my body, I assume.”

“Not at all.  You won’t be made to do anything against your will, and the money has already been given.  I couldn’t take it back now even if I wanted to.” 

“So then what was that about?” 

“I fancied kissing a remarkable woman.”  He popped up the collar on his jacket against the chilled breeze before slipping his hands back into his pockets.  “Though I do apologize, I rather get carried away.”

“Carried away?” 

“And I do so hate eating dinner alone.  For sure, I quite miss the sound of your voice from the other side of the table.” 

She scoffed, her breath blowing a puff of white steam into the air between them. 

“How many horrible pick-up lines do you have stored away in there to use on the women you throw money at?” 

“As of now, none.” 

She wanted to leave him there in the cold.  He could chauffeur himself home in that fancy expensive car of his and eat dinner all alone in his shiny mansion, for all she cared.  Only… her stomach was growling, she _was_ hungry, and she had told herself she would thank him at least in some small part. 

“My choice then,” she sighed at her own relenting.  “I pick the place, I take my own car.  You can follow behind in your fancy Lexus.”

“Aston Martin,” he corrected. 

“Okay, for that, you’re buying.” 

“I had intended to do so from the start.” 

Slamming the door to her aging Toyota Corolla—it was no fancy European sports car, but it got her from point A to point B and really, wasn’t that all you needed in a vehicle—with nerd decals plastered over the back bumper, she led the way through the persistently-rain-covered roads of Seattle to the International District in downtown.  Parking in the lot of the Uwajimaya grocery, he followed on her heels into the food court in the back of the grocery store.  The air was filled with mingling smells, some clashing, some blending quite nicely, and Erwin knew that more than a few pairs of eyes were looking at him.  He was, after all, smartly dressed.  Possibly too smart for a place like the Uwajimaya food court. 

“So the Korean stall is probably my favorite, but the food is spicy hot, so if you can’t handle that—“ and she gave him a once over before deciding that he probably couldn’t.  “—then you should stick to the others.  The Thai place is decent enough, but largely dependent on who’s in the kitchen.  You could get in the Deli line for a nice half-pound of duck.  With the amount they give you and with how it’s served in a slab and not in pieces, it’s basically finger food.” 

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

“So you get to see me tear into a side of duck with my bare hands.  Awesome.” 

‘Tear’ was perhaps a euphemism.  It would have been more accurate to say she mauled it.  With grease running down her chin and the length of her arms, Erwin imagined she was the living, breathing example of how _Homo Neanderthals_ must have eaten.  Meanwhile, he had fought valiantly to avoid having to use his hands, but the cheap, plastic utensils were getting him nowhere without breaking first, and he was reminded of the age-old adage: when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  Soon, his fingers too were dripping with grease, though he’d stopped the trickle at his wrist after making sure his Armani sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. 

“Well you pass, I guess,” she commented lightly halfway through their meal. 

“Pass?”

“You got your hands dirty.  I might have walked out on you otherwise.” 

“They say when in Rome—“

“How’s your duck?”  Yes, yes, she knew the saying.  Wasn’t interested. 

“Surprisingly good.” 

“See, you don’t have to pay the equivalent of community college tuition to get decent chow.  You know it’s genuine when you can see the hanging duck carcasses in the display and when they don’t hide hacking the head off in front of you.” 

“…genuine…”

“Genuine Chinese food.  Not the westernized, kung pao chicken crap.” 

“I’ve never had kung pao chicken.” 

“Well, no, I suppose you wouldn’t have, rich boy.” 

“I was born into privilege, yes.” 

“So that answers my question finally.”  She licked the grease up the side of her hand, like a messy child licking melting ice cream.  He was trying hard to be disgusted, but it somehow came out as endearment. 

“Which question?” 

“You’re not mafia, you’re a trust fund baby.” 

Wiping his hands on a small mountain of napkins, he cleared his throat before asking,

“All right, if we’re going to play this guessing game.  You ask me one, I’ll ask you one.” 

“How do I know you’ll answer truthfully?” she jabbed as she ripped off another piece with her teeth. 

“Well, that’s a rather suspicious way to think.”

“You’ve been pretty suspicious.  You introduced yourself as Nile’s friend, remember?”

“Acquaintance.”

“Okay, fine,” she dropped a half-eaten duck skeleton into her biodegradable Styrofoam before grabbing a handful of napkins.  “I’ll go first.  Where’s your accent from?”

“Britain.” 

“Where in—“

He held up a finger to her lips.  “My turn, now, remember?”

“Yes, I remember.  Now where in Britain?”

It took him a moment before he realized she had taken his clarifying question as an actual question.  Ooh, this woman…

“…Birmingham.” 

“And here’s where I pretend to know where that is.” 

“My turn.  Do you have a boyfriend?” 

“Wow, that was forward.” 

“Yes it was.  But you promised to answer.” 

She sighed, rolling her eyes.  “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”  Then she pursed her lips and raised a challenging eyebrow.  “Do you have a wife?”

He held up his left hand, wiggling the bare fingers still slightly shining with grease.  “I’ve never had that pleasure, I'm afraid.  Do you have a girlfriend?”

She smirked.  “Oh good, you think outside the bubble.  No, not currently.  Haven’t had one for a while.” 

He failed to restrain his surprise in the form of jumping eyebrows—and they were rather stately eyebrows—and she giggled. 

“Ooh, got you.  I’m mostly queer, but lucky for you, men aren’t out of the question.  How old are you?” 

“Thirty-eight.”

“Hmm, younger than I thought.” 

Erwin was unsure whether or not to take that as a compliment.  On the one hand, it probably meant that he looked much older.  Sure, you wanted to look distinguished as opposed to awkwardly pubescent, but he was yet far from the grave. 

“May I ask a lady _her_ age then?”

“You watched me eat my dinner; I’m _not_ a lady.  And I just turned thirty earlier this month.” 

“You’re a virgo.” 

“Far from virgin.”  She challenged, a bit loudly.  A few people nearby turned their heads briefly.  Erwin lowered his voice before adding,

“You’re being quite immodest.”

“Well I didn’t think you were looking for modesty.” 

“Oh… I’m not.” 

And there was that look again.  The look that made her feel as if he was going to devour her whole.  She felt her stomach knot and told herself it was just the grease from the duck.  Yeah.  Duck. 

* * *

 

To celebrate the new grant, the Titan Corporation set the date for a dinner party held in Hanji and Erwin’s honor, separately.  Mr. Madison repeatedly stressed upon her the importance that she be present—no being an antisocial scientist who never gets out of the lab—as the donor had specifically requested her presence.  She had scoffed in his fat moustache but promised to be there.  She could endure one evening of pomp and circumstance for what she got in return. 

At least, that _wa_ s her attitude before she got home one evening and found two large packages sitting on the kitchen counter addressed to her. 

“Packages for you.  No return address,” Levi said, standing next to her by the counter, a spatula in his hand. 

“I know who it’s from.”  There was no mistaking who would buy her something from a designer brand—some posh Italian name she wouldn’t bother trying to pronounce. 

“Is it that guy?” 

“Isn’t your food burning?” 

It wasn’t.  But it got her at least a moment’s reprieve to open the box.  Unwrapping the tissue paper inside, she pulled out a slinky halter-neck gown with an open, drooping backline.  In scarlet.  And in the other box?  A pair of thinly pointed, glittering black stiletto Jimmy Choos. 

“Is this guy your sugar daddy or something?  These are some expensive brands.” 

She chucked them back in their respective boxes and threw them on the couch.  Sugar daddy?  That probably hit the nail on the head.  There were many ways in which she felt Erwin was trying to buy her affections.  And if he weren’t such a handsome bastard, and if he hadn’t paid for her research…  But she also wasn’t going to give in that easily.

“So I take it you’re not going to wear them then.”

“I’ll give them to Sora, I’m sure she’d love to wear shit like this.”

“And what are you going to wear to the dinner then?” 

“Do you still have the business card for the tuxedo rental place you used to get your tux for Petra and Auruo’s wedding?”

“Probably in my desk somewhere.” 

“Great.” 

“You know, I don’t trust this guy,” Levi called to her from the kitchen. 

“That makes two of us.”  She called back from his bedroom, as she dug through the drawers and files in his desk.  Thank goodness he kept his workspace tidy.  It made quick work of finding something as small and insignificant as a business card. 

“So why are you going along with his shit?” 

“Hello?  Are we ignoring the part where I’d rather wear a 3-piece suit than his stupid Valentine dress?”

“Valentino.” 

“I don’t care!”  

“You better wash your fucking hair before you go.”

“I’ll wear a bowtie!” 

“That—that’s not supposed to serve in place of taking a fucking shower!”

* * *

 

“Late, you’re going to be late for your own congratulatory dinner.”  Levi drawled, arms crossed as he watched her run frantically around the apartment to get dressed and get ready. 

“Yeah, shut up.  Where are my note cards for my speech?”

“In your right breast pocket.” 

“Oh, brilliant.”  She plopped down on the kitchen counter barstool as she pulled on her socks.  “You’re gonna do my hair, right?”

“That depends, did you wash it?”

The socks found their way to her nose and she took a deep inhale to Levi’s disgust.  She didn’t have to shove them up her nose like that to see if the socks were clean, a gentle inhale would have been telling enough.  And thank goodness they _were_ clean, otherwise he’d have made her wash her face twice over before leaving. 

“Socks are clean.  So’s my hair.” 

“What am I even supposed to do with this mop?” But he was grabbing the brush even as he spoke.  “Sculpt a bird’s nest with it?”  _Destroy yet another hairbrush with it?_   He added mentally as the bristles got lodged in the tangles of her hair.

“A testament to your years in beauty school.”  She laced shut her oxfords hurriedly before leaning back in the stool.  “Just put it in a bun or something.”

“Dear me, you suggested something sensible.” 

“Sure you don’t wanna skip your PTA meeting to come chat up boring, rich, white people with me?  Might meet someone nice!”

“I’m not looking for a sugar daddy, thanks.” 

“Does he count as my sugar daddy if I haven’t gotten laid yet?”

“Yet?” he repeated with a slightly-too-rough pull of her hair. 

“Ow!  I can’t deny he’s really good looking.  He’s like… Chris Evans as Captain America meets Chris Pine as Captain Kirk.” 

“Do you have a secret fetish for captains named Chris?” 

“Maybe I have a secret fetish for captains.  Pulling rank can be sexy in the right situations.”

A few more pulls, a flourished twist, a couple of bobby pins, and he had fashioned for her a stately bun. 

“God, that’s a tight bun.”  Hanji hissed as she lightly patted the edges of her hair.

“Matches your ass in those pants.” 

“Thank you for noticing.  Now can you do my makeup and tie my bowtie?”

“You’re fucking useless without me.” 

“Sometime today would be ideal!” she hummed as she clacked her flat heels on the barstool legs. 

Rolling his eyes, Levi effortlessly applied her wingtip eyeliner, foundation, contouring, pausing only momentarily before the lipstick.

“Admittedly, you’d look like a clown if you tried to do your own makeup.  Might as well let me do it right the first time.  Now what shade of lipstick do you want?”

“A shade that gets me the D tonight.” She replied with a grin. 

“Hanji.”

“What?  You keep calling him my sugar daddy, I might as well sleep with him.” 

“What about what we said about not trusting him?”

“I don’t have to trust him to have sex with him.” 

“This is obvious.”  He scoffed as he took the ends of her bowtie in his fingers.

“Is that judgment and scorn I hear in your voice?  Mister, I-used-to-be-a-pole-dancer-to-make-ends-meet-and-there’s-nothing-inherently-shameful-about-that?  Honestly, I feel like you’re being prissy because I didn’t give you the Jimmy Choos.” 

The urge to strangle her with her own bowtie was strong, so strong, and mentally he demanded praise from on high that he had the self-restraint not to.  It would be bad to have to report to the Board that on the night of her congratulatory dinner, she’d been asphyxiated by her bowtie… that her roommate may have guided the ends of.  But his control didn’t stop him from tying the knot just a little bit too tight.

As she loosened the bowtie, she added, pursing her now dark red lips. 

“Look, it’s true that he has a lot of money, and I probably look like the gold digger in this situation, and yeah, he’s spent a lot of cash on me, and yeah, I might sleep with him at some point because he’s attractive and I haven’t gotten laid in a while.  But look at me, Levi.” 

And he did.  And she looked smart.  Brilliant and sharply dressed, with creases in her pants sharp enough to match her wit, and he knew that he was selling her short, and that it was her life and her choices were all that mattered. 

“I’m still me.” 

He kissed her cheek in apology before kicking her off of the barstool. 

“Go to your dinner.  And don’t come home too early.” 

She let loose a wicked grin, hugged him tight, ruffled his hair, then was out of the door faster than Levi could spit.  Not that he’d ever spit, what a revolting habit. 

* * *

 

“So to conclude, I and the rest of my lab team have nothing but the deepest and most sincerest appreciation for the incredible generosity that Mr. Smith has shown.  And we shall do our absolute best to ensure that we, in turn, can contribute something of knowledge to the scientific community.  So if you all would be so kind as to charge your glasses… To science, the pursuit of knowledge, and to the generosity of Mr. Smith.”  Aaaand wait for the applause to settle… “Thank you.” 

Taking her seat as Mr. Pixis stood to make closing remarks before the floor let out for music, dancing, and no doubt a rush of drinks, she gave a polite nod to Erwin where he sat a few seats down the long table in the front of the ballroom.  The champagne was bubbly and tingled her throat as it went down. 

She couldn’t help but feel a small amount of triumph as she saw how wistfully he looked at the dress, which Sora wore brilliantly.  Hanji was sure that her young intern brought many times more charm to the outfit than she could ever manage.  When Mr. Pixis finally took his seat, the orchestra took up their instruments, and everyone rose from their seats to mix and mingle and talk about mundane things like opera and golf.  Before Erwin could approach, she took her chance to slip from her seat at the table reserved for guests of honor and made her way to where her lab team sat. 

“Well the hard part’s over,” she breathed.  “Hang on, where’s Grae?” 

“He couldn’t make it, he’s gotten a bit ill,” Moblit answered.

“Somewhat conveniently timed…” muttered Keiji, shifting uncomfortably in his poorly fitted suit. 

“I wouldn’t say there’s anything convenient about getting food poisoning from Taco Bell,” laughed Sora.  “Plus, he has a girlfriend and a life, unlike the rest of us.”

“You really do look stunning in that dress, Sora.” 

“It’s mostly the dress, promise,” she replied, but she couldn’t hide the giddiness she felt.  “I can’t believe I’m wearing a Valentino gown, where did you even—“

“Friend got it for me at a garage sale on Mercer Island.”  And it was only half a fib. 

“Well, not to seem ungrateful, but I think you’d have pulled it off quite well too.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you in a dress,” Keiji piped in, leaning back in his chair with an amused grin.  “Unless a lab coat counts.”

“But there’s no doubt the tuxedo is more you,” Moblit added in shyly.  “And I think you look quite dashing, Miss Hanji.” 

“Oh thank you, Moblit!  Is that an invitation to dance?”  Hanji reached across the table and pinched his arm. 

“N-n-n-no!  I—I don’t know how…” 

“I know how!  Ooh, I’d love to dance!”  Sora chimed, raising a hand into the air as if she were sitting in a classroom. 

“Well I suppose I’d better polish off my—“

“Not _you_ , Keiji!  Hanji!” 

“Aw, come on!” 

“Sorry Keiji, but ladies’ choice!”  Sora hopped to her feet and took Hanji out to the floor where a few other couples were lightly waltzing.  “I know enough waltz to follow someone’s lead.”  
“Well, lucky for you, I used to dance lead in some ballroom dance classes way back when.”  Hanji smiled as she put her left hand out for Sora to take, and placed her right firmly on the bottom of Sora’s shoulder blade, just above the waist. 

“Oh no, you know what you’re doing.”  Sora bit her lip, but managed to start on the first beat of the next measure when she felt Hanji move.  “Aren’t you supposed to be a recluse scientist, who’s awkward at dancing and other artsy things?” 

“Have you seen Moblit’s paintings?  Even scientists have hobbies.”  One, two, three, one, two, three; Hanji led Sora in sweeping natural turns across the floor, gently guiding her into slow spins and subtle rises and falls. 

“You’re not allowed to be multi-talented like that.”  Sora pouted. 

“And what’s your vice then?” 

“…Online gaming.” 

“So you’re a gamer!”  And a slow turn on two…

“Ish.  I mean, I dabble.  Like a guilty pleasure.  When I need to de-stress.”

“So how often do you play?”

“Everyday.” Came the confession.

“Hmm, how many hours?”

“Basically from when I get home to when I sleep.” 

“And what level is your character in WoW?”

“Pleeeease.  I’m a Dota-type girl.  My summoner profile is level 30 in League of Legends.”

“I’m going to pretend I know what that is.”  Hanji laughed as she spun her out to the final measure of the tune. 

“Oh man, remind me never to waltz in these heels.  Jimmy Choos are beautiful, but not made for dancing, really.”  She laughed, but quickly reined it in as she saw Erwin approaching from behind Hanji, looking rather dapper.  She discretely gestured to Hanji that he was behind her before biting her lip and strolling in the other direction.  “I’m just going to… get more champagne!” 

“She looks lovely in the dress I bought for you,” Erwin said softly into Hanji’s ear.  “I’ll admit I was disappointed.”

“Was?”

“When she arrived first, wearing your dress, I thought you might not be coming.”  The orchestra began up again and Erwin held out his hand.  “May I have a turn?” 

She took it, feeling slightly off-balance.  She hadn’t danced follow in some time. 

“But I confess, the suit is more charming.” 

“You know, I was expecting a little more disappointment out of you.  I mean, I did give away your rather expensive present.” 

“Ah, but this is so you, so divergent and unconventional; it’s precisely why you caught my attention in the first place.” 

She wasn’t charmed.  No.  Not in the least.  Never mind that she had been adamantly telling Levi hours ago that she was definitely going to sleep with him. 

“Stop it, you’re not charming.” 

“I’m at least moderately handsome.” 

“There it is,” she mused. 

“Hm?” Erwin was nonplussed as he spun her out before spinning her back in and holding her to his body a fraction closer than he had before. 

“Nice guys don’t cough up millions of dollars and then demand attention like this.  You have ulterior motives.” 

“But of course I have ulterior motives,” he pulled her in close to a sultry chord from the cello.  “I’d love nothing more than to have you in my bed.”  He spun her out.  “In good time and by your own will, of course.” 

“You’re a horribly attractive sycophant.” 

“Why thank you.” 

“And you’re _so_ smarmy—“

“May I dip you?” 

“I—oh.  Kay.” 

He braced his hip against hers, supporting her weight on his hips thighs as he dipped her back, admiring how gracefully she arched.  It would have been lovely to see her perform this in the slinky dress, but the suit was quite flattering to her figure regardless.  He brought her upright as the music drew to a close and brushed his cheek against hers as he whispered in her ear,

“Thank you, that was lovely.” 

“You better be damn good.”  She whispered back. 

“Excuse me?”

“At sex.  After all your preening and strutting, you better give me one hell of a high tonight.” 

“Why, Miss Hanji.  Are you propositioning me?” 

“Your place, I take my own car, and I’m not staying the night.” 

“Fair enough.” 

And with only the briefest of farewells, they left the fabulous venue, stealing fleeting kisses and short-lived gropes in the parking lot before buckling in and going on their way.  From the Hyatt hotel in downtown Seattle, they drove over the I-405 bridge into Bellevue—she should have known he’d live in expensive real estate.  It was perhaps the bigger surprise that he didn’t own a waterfront home on Mercer Island.  She imagined him sipping finely aged wine in a plush deck chair at sunset on the water, watching the colors rippling beautifully in the waves, and it irked her just to think about it.  And of course it was immature to be provoked at merely her mental depiction of his wealth, but she was agitated now… and she was going to fuck him so hard for it. 

Their kisses are sloppy and frantic against the door even before he can unlock it, and by the time he’s got his keys, opened the door, turned off the security alarms, and clapped on a few lights, her lips are already bruised and swollen, her lipstick smeared across his jawline, and her neat bun pulled out into wavy tresses falling on her shoulders. 

He pulled her upstairs to the master bedroom, past the beautifully decorated atrium, up a gorgeous flight of spiraling stairs, knocking over an expensive painting hanging in the hallway before he was lying on top of her in his bed, slowly pulling off her bowtie. 

“Mmm… well, you’re at least a good kisser, so that’s something.”  Hanji breathed as she slid his tailcoat off of his shoulders, pleased to feel the firm muscles beneath the silk of his shirt.  The suit hid it well, but he was built like a bear underneath the colorful feathers.  “You work out much?” 

“I served ten years in Her Majesty’s service,” he murmured into her neck, his fingers deftly unbuttoning her vest as she in turn pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. 

Her long thin fingers ran over an old scar along his right bicep. 

“A soldier—pfft!” she giggled.  “Were you… a captain?”  Oh, if only Levi were around!

“Lieutenant Colonel,” he corrected, raising an eyebrow at her sudden giggle-fit.  “Is that amusing somehow?” 

“Oh,” she frowned.  “No, that doesn’t roll off the tongue nicely at all.” 

“What doesn’t?”

“Lieutenant Colonel.  Too many syllables to moan out.”  She shrugged out of her coat and vest, tossing them carelessly onto the plush carpet.  “Now if you had been a captain…”  She threw her head back and pushed her hips against his, feeling the delightful bulge press against her.  “Oh!  Captain!  Captain!!”  she moaned.  “That, I could have worked with.” 

Erwin made quick work of his cummerbund and dress shirt before whispering,

“You shouldn’t tease me so.” 

“I also assume Lieutenant Colonel is a low, unimportant rank.” She grinned as the corner of his lip twitched.  So he had buttons that could be pushed, did he? 

“Pray tell, what rank would have been suitable for you?”  his fingers worked on the buttons of her shirt, revealing a somewhat uncharacteristic bit of pale green lingerie. 

“Mmm… maybe something like… commander.”  She was rather pleased with the way he was eyeing her breasts.  Heaven knows, she wasn’t exactly well-endowed, falling just barely within the B-cup spectrum, but even she could muster up some cleavage with a well-fitting bra.  “Just the sound of it… Commander Erwin Smith…” 

“I have a hunch it would sound lovely to hear you scream it.” 

“Kinky.”  She laughed as she threw her shirt aside, her skin tingling in the cool air, muscles tensing in anticipation. 

“Oh, you’ve no idea…”

That got her interest.  Flipping him over so that she was straddling him on the bed, she bit down on a nipple before trailing kisses up his firm chest, along that strong neck, and down the line of that chiseled jawline, lightly scented with aftershave and cologne. 

“So where’s your hidden stash of toys?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know…”

“Or maybe you’re especially freaky and you have a room reserved as a sex dungeon.” She rolled her hips, rubbing down on him. 

“Not tonight,” he moaned, taking her hands in his and lacing their fingers.  “It’s our first time.  I’d like to feel just your body today.”

She felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked down at him.  A hint of affection gurgled in the pit of her stomach, and she pushed it down.  She didn’t even fully trust him, how could she like him? 

He unlaced their fingers and trailed his fingers up her arms, bringing himself gradually up to a sitting position.  Her thick hair, wrinkled and creased from the bun tickled his fingers as he cupped her face with his hands, bringing her in for a slow, tender kiss. 

There was so much to a kiss that people did wrong, Hanji thought briefly.  It’s not all in the tongue, that’s just sloppy.  Pushing your faces together as far as they’ll go just gets uncomfortable—no one wants to feel their teeth clacking onto the other person’s.  Lips are important, but largely ignored in an improper French.  But just in that moment, Erwin was doing absolutely everything right.  She could feel her body melting into his touch, her mind growing numb and almost dizzy.  A good kiss was worth at least one masturbatory session.  Possibly more. 

Her stomach tensed as she felt his fingers undo the button of her trousers, pulling the zipper slowly down before he pushed a hand down her panties to finger her already dripping cunt.  Her thighs tensed, a voiceless moan escaped her lips, and she ran her fingers through his blond hair, mussing it and lavishing the feel of it on the skin between her fingers.  Blond hair was always so soft and light.  It was easier to run fingers through it compared to dark, coarse hair, or even curls (as fun as curls were to play with)… she was sure Erwin’s hair was softer than even Rico’s. 

And as she ran his hair through her fingers, he was running the folds of her labia between his, and spending no small amount of time pressing against her swollen clit.  Her chest pressed against his, and she fumbled to remove her restricting bra. 

Gently, Erwin pushed her down onto the mattress, pulling up her legs over his shoulder so that he could remove her trousers and underwear.  And once they were gone, he pressed lightly at the soft skin on the inside of her firm thighs, and she spread her legs without so much as a whimper.  She lay openly in front of him, hiding nothing, ashamed of nothing.  Even in the dim light, he could see the rosy flush in her cheeks, her small nipples already standing erect on her heaving breasts… and perhaps most delightful of all was the sight of the pink folds between her legs weeping and ruining his bed sheets beneath a mound of sensitive brown hairs. 

“May I go down on you?”  he asked softly, getting his fingers wet from her juices. 

“If you can kiss me down there as well as you kiss me up here, I will cum all over your face.” 

“Is that a promise?” he quipped, running his tongue up her folds as he pressed a finger inside. 

“God, you are a freak,” she groaned, arching her back.  It was hard to make that sound reprimanding, smiling as she was. 

For the record, the record that she kept in her mind of all things worth noting, he was a very good kisser… everywhere.  Between his skillful tongue, powerful suction, and fingers curling inside, she came remarkably quickly (by her own standards, but her stamina hadn’t been tested for months), writhing onto his fingers and tongue, laughing as she pushed him away when he insisted on suckling on her clit after she climaxed. 

“It’s sensitive now, go away,” she teased.

“I was hoping to sustain your bliss.”

“Sustained, now let me breathe a bit while you go grab a condom or something.” 

His trousers were starting to look more than a little restricting, the outline of his manhood quite evident against the fabric.  And it was a promising outline too. 

“You’re letting me in you tonight?”

“Take off your pants before I change my mind,” she murmured, stretching lazily on the bed and poking at his belly button with her toes.  “Chop chop!  Or what is it they say in England… Tally ho?” 

“Nobody says that,” he chided as the pants (and boxers, classic) were hurriedly discarded. 

“’Allo, guvnah,” she teased, as she locked her eyes on his bare manhood. 

“There are certain things you really _shouldn’t_ say to a penis.” 

“Pip pip, cheerio, flibbertigibbet?” 

“You could just tell me you don’t want to continue, there’s no need to deflate my erection using gibberish.” 

“Oh, I’m joking.  Now go grab yourself a contraceptive, gorgeous man, and make me cum again.” 

The way she spoke to him shouldn’t have turned him on in the least, but it did.  Because she was having fun and she was smiling, and it had been so long since he had last had enjoyable company.  Wistfully, he wondered if maybe the two of them could have started out in better moral standing if he hadn’t initiated by throwing money her way.  They could have been a proper couple, if he stopped approaching everything with his wallet first.  But now wasn’t the time to dwell on such thoughts… Not when she was taking the unwrapped condom from his fingers and deftly licking around the crown of his length. 

Her tongue slid from base to tip, darting in and out of the slit at the top, and then she was swallowing him in as far as she could, gripping the base tight with her long, thin fingers, pulling slightly on the soft curls there.  He groaned and gasped as he felt the tip hit the back of her throat, but then she was pulling away with an impish grin. 

“Just a taste for now.” She said before sliding the condom over the length of him, her fingertips caressing every inch before she turned over, stomach to the sheets and lifted her ass up at him. 

How very lewd.  What was that earlier?  Something about better moral standing?  Well, that was clearly never going to happen when she was lying there, requesting to be fucked from behind. 

But they certainly didn’t have to limit their fun.  He took her from behind, she rode him forwards, backwards… again and again their sweaty bodies crashed together to the melodious hum of their screams and groans.  And when she was near her peak, he lay her on her back, crouching over her and rammed into her, looking intently at her ecstasy as she came, then following shortly after. 

He collapsed into her chest, his hair sticking to his forehead, the intermingling smell of their sweat and body fluids filling his nose.  It was bloody brilliant.  For a while they lay there breathing, just breathing.  And when finally cold started to descend on their hot skin, they untangled their limbs and got vaguely cleaned up. 

He had forgotten she wasn’t staying the night until she started putting on her clothes again. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay?  I don’t mean to brag, but I can make a really delicious Eggs Benedict.”

“I don’t even know what that is.”  She laughed.

“Stay, and you’ll find out.”

“Not tonight.”  She kissed his forehead, and he grabbed her wrist. 

“Leave me your number?”  A final plea. 

Sighing through her nose, she picked up his phone—some Galaxy contraption she had never handled before—and after some difficulty, she plugged in her number into his address book. 

“There, don’t blow up my phone, I don’t have unlimited texting or anything.” 

“Thank you, Zoe.” 

She paused only slightly, the name ringing in her ears.  She didn’t know why it should sound so odd, it was her name after all, but there was some quality in how he said it, something in his tone that gave her pause… she was out of the door before he could say it again. 

* * *

 

The next morning, she was woken up once by the sound of Levi rustling about in the kitchen going about his daily routine, then a second time when her phone gave off the unfamiliar sound of a text. 

_Good morning, Zoe._

Groaning, she drew up the keyboard, typing sloppily. 

_Too early, go away._

_I made Eggs Benedict this morning, and I accidentally made one extra._

_Guess it’s time to gain some weight._

_Would you like to meet for coffee?_

She paused, twirling the phone in her fingers.  Pulling the covers up over her nose for extra protection, she typed,

_I wasn’t expecting this to be a repeat affair._

_But we had such fun, would it be so bad to do it again?_

_Don't flatter yourself, loverboy, you didn’t blow my mind or anything._

_All the more reason to give me another chance._

The covers went fully up over her head now, the phone slipping under the covers with her and lighting up the darkness. 

_You’re very persistent about this._

_I’m very persistent about you._

In the absence of her reply, condensation gathered on her touch screen as she sighed repeatedly in her blanket tent. 

_Meet with me.  You name the time and place._

_Zoe_

_1 PM. Pike’s Place._

_I can’t wait._

_Well you’re gonna have to, linear flow of time and all that._

Crawling out of bed, she dragged herself into the kitchen for her morning cup of tea and noted the time: a sinfully early hour of 10:22.  Levi put on the kettle for her and noted the smeared lipstick and eyeliner—she always forgot to remove her makeup before sleeping when she wore it. 

“I take it it was a good party,” he poured a glass of water.  “Do you need an alka seltzer?”

“I’m not hungover, but thanks.” 

“I’m actually not swamped with things to grade this weekend, do you wanna get out for a bit?” 

“I’m actually meeting someone today.”  She averted her eyes as she sipped on her water.

“You’re meeting _him_ , you mean.” 

“Maybe.  Look, it’s just for coffee.” 

“For someone who repeatedly told me there was nothing to feel guilty about, you seem pretty fucking ashamed right now.” 

“You’re not exactly helping, mawwwmmm.” 

“Well I’m going to be uneasy about it if you keep acting like you’re reluctant about it.” 

“What am I being reluctant about?  I’m just having a good time.” 

“Oh, I get it,” Levi realized slowly as the kettle came to a boil.  Switching it off and pulling out a green tea bag from the cupboard, he poured her tea with a watchful eye.  “You like him.” 

“He’s a smarmy bastard with an ego, whose first solution is usually money.” 

“Please, you love it when they have an ego.” 

“Self-confidence is one thing, ego is—“

“—something you have too.” 

She paused, glaring at the man across the kitchen counter, eye level if only because she was sitting on the barstool. 

“He’s a pervert—“

“Also you.  And you love perverts.”  Levi was shooting with a fully loaded round and hitting every mark dead center.  She’d almost hate him for it if she didn’t appreciate his honesty so much. 

“This is what I get for living with an ex.” 

“I’m not just an ex, I’ve also known you since we were in middle school.  I think that goes a bit farther than just ex-boyfriend.” 

“I’m going to have a field day the next time you bring someone home.”  She snarled. 

“Speaking of bringing someone home, does he know you live with me?” 

“It… hasn’t come up.”

“I see this relationship is filled with lots of communication.” 

“It’s not a relationship!” She shouted, rising to her feet.  “I’m gonna take a shower and get going.” 

“Clearly, I should start more arguments with you.  This is the most frequently you’ve bathed in all your life.” 

Her reply came in the form of a wagging middle finger from around the door before Levi heard the bathroom door slam shut.  

* * *

 

“That better not be another dress.” 

“Open it.” 

Erwin held out a large, flat square box out to her, and she rolled her eyes as she took it from across the table.  It was heavier than the last dress, whatever it was.  The object in the box turned out to be considerably more useful than a dress, as she held up a large, fine leather briefcase. 

“Getting better.  But you know you don’t have to keep buying me things.” 

“I want to.” 

“I guess it’s hard for you to get out of your ‘sugar daddy’ mode.”

She sipped on her warm mocha and looked out at the water.  In the distance, she hoped to see Mt. Rainier, but the day was cloudy and foggy and she could barely see Olympic National Park across the Sound. 

“Is that what you think of me?” 

“It’s how you’ve behaved so far.” 

She tried to gauge his reaction, but it was hard to read; the bushy eyebrows remained as level as ever. 

“I suppose that’s true.”

“That’s basically what my roommate calls you.” 

“You’ve told her about me?” 

“ _He’s_ been my best friend for years, so yeah.  He knows you exist.” 

“I take it he doesn’t approve of me.” 

“Well, he doesn’t know much about you.  Nor do I.” 

“You’re welcome to know as much about me as you like.” 

She frowned at him. 

“What exactly do you think of me and this… arrangement we have?” 

“I think you’re an extraordinary woman.  Notably bright, talented, and I’m very, _very_ attracted to you.  I’d like to think our… arrangement, as you call it, is mutually beneficial.” 

“And not temporary.” 

He looked at her then in a way that chilled her to the bone.  She saw loss and sadness behind his eyes, and it unnerved her. 

“Are you so anxious to be rid of me?” 

_No, don’t make me feel guilty for keeping you at a distance.  You’re the one who started this wrong._

“Well, I can’t be rid of you now,” she joked, waving her old-beaten iPhone about.  “You have my number, and you know where I work.” 

He smiled, and it made her stomach knot uncomfortably. 

“I realize that we didn’t meet on the purest of terms.” 

“I met my longest-running relationship in a kink bar.  I’m not on the hunt for anything wholesome.” 

“Investment bankers and Wall Street are less trusted than doms in a sex bar.  Worse than drugs, violence, sex, excess money is the dirtiest thing in our society.  And I started by throwing a 7-figure sum at you.” 

“Well, not just at me, per se, at my research, my lab team is gonna get paid out of that too, and heaven knows they all deserve a little extra in their pockets for the work they put in—“

“Please believe me, I’ve never had any intention of… buying… you.” 

“It feels like you don’t respect the life I’ve made for myself.” 

_I should shut up.  I’ve no business talking about this, talking in this way, it’s not like I was ever looking for anything from him other than a bit of fun._

“I never meant any disrespect.” 

“You throw expensive presents at me at every opportunity, stuff I don’t want, stuff I barely need, and you pay for everything when we go out.  As if I’m a poor girl peddling my way in the world, but I’m not.  I’m an adult woman with a career doing what I love, making more than enough to pay the bills and have fun on the side.” 

“What do you propose then?” 

“Just because I don’t have a lavish lifestyle with Wall Street money doesn’t mean I’m not your equal.”  She was angry now, why was she angry?  What did it matter what he thought of her?  If he wanted to throw away his money, it what real reason was there to stop him?  She owed him nothing. 

“I acknowledge your points, all of them.  What can I do to make you trust that I only hold you in the highest esteem?” 

“Let me pay for coffee.” 

“Done.” 

“No, sorry.  What I meant was, I’m _going_ to pay for coffee, and it’s not something I need your permission for.” 

Erwin opened his mouth to speak, but fearing he’d only upset her further, he shut it again, giving a polite, silent nod.  Hanji let out a long breath, as if to release the steam she’d built up inside from getting so agitated. 

“What are we doing?”  she muttered into her coffee, not really wanting to hear a response.

“We’re getting to know each other.” 

“Do I want to get to know you?”

“I’m afraid only you can answer that.” 

“I wasn’t looking for a relationship.” She confessed.  The last one had ended on such bad terms; she had thrown herself into her work instead.  But in that work, she had found so much to strive for, what did it matter if she didn’t have romantic companionship?  She lived with her best friend in all the world, she adored her lab team, and if she especially needed physical affection, she and Levi had an understanding.  That and there were plenty of bars where she could find people who were just as detached. 

“Just sex.” 

“Maybe.  But you complicated that with money.” 

Several moments of silence passed between them before Erwin finally said,

“Whatever you want to call this, however bizarre our interactions may seem, I’d like to keep seeing you.” 

“Me too,” she said before she could stop herself. 

_No, don’t smile at me.  Don’t be charming.  Be smug and perverted so that I want to kick you under the table._

“We can meet as often or as little as you’d like, I’ll defer to your preferences in place and time.” 

“Just like that?”  Hanji bit her lip.  His generosity alone was cause for suspicion.  “Everything is at my pace, my whims, you want _no_ say in any of it?” 

“For the time being, I’m happy just to meet with you.”  He checked his watch, then grabbed his coat.  “I’m afraid I’ve a meeting to get to.  Since you offered to pay for coffee, I know you won’t mind if I take off first.”  Rising from his chair, he gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead, cradling her cheek in his hand.  “At the time that you consider me something more… I’ll indulge in a little more selfishness.” 

She felt a tingling on the skin of her cheek where he had touched her, and she stared adamantly into her coffee as he left.  Vaguely she remembered the days when she had always been in control, when she had always been the charmer, not the one being charmed.  Yes, sugar daddy bothered her.  When she had first met him, before he gave her the research money, she hadn’t wanted something as shallow as that.  Of course, the alternative was a rich boyfriend.  She could almost hear Levi’s pestering voice in her ear: _What real downside is there to that?_  

Her phone buzzed on the table, and she swiped open the lock screen.

_Miss you already._

“Smarmy bastard…” she muttered as she texted her reply.  


	2. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin learns a few things about the true meaning of intimacy. 
> 
> This chapter features BDSM, pegging, and Hanji being sexy. Except Hanji is always sexy so that last part is pretty redundant.

Humming was an unconscious habit for her.  When she was buried neck-deep in research papers, when she was lost in a book, when she was intensely focused on a task in the lab, she tended to hum.  At the moment, she was humming along with the buzz of an instrument, giving a tune to the irregular and random pulses. 

“I had a chat with Dr. Bryant the other day.  She’s a professor at UC Irvine, doing work on regeneration, and her strategy is to use axolotls to figure out the neural signaling that triggers the regeneration response.  She and Dr. Gardiner are—oh, hang on.” 

She turned the remote knob to six and the buzzing pulses intensified slightly. 

“As I was saying…” she hummed as she brushed over the flesh of her specimen with her gloved fingers before gently placing a clamp.  There was a violent twitch and she shushed it down with a gentle murmur.  “Maybe I shouldn’t have done both at once?” 

“G-green…” came the stammered reply. 

“Oh good!”  she chirped before turning the knob up to seven. 

“Ngh!!  Ahnn… hah…”  The bed moaned as Erwin pulled on his restraints, his biceps twitching and tensing and testing the wood of the bedposts. 

Hanji smiled in response and lightly smacked his already reddened bottom. 

“You’re being rather rude, you know…” she quipped as trailed her blue finger up along his leg from ankle to hip.  “I’m trying to tell you about my research progress, and you keep interrupting me.” 

She turned the knob from seven to three, lowering the intensity of the vibrator inside him considerably, and he nearly gave a small whimper in response.  They had been at it for at least an hour and a half, with Hanji taking mental notes on all the areas that made Erwin tick.  And in order to make sure that her results were of statistical significance, she had double, triple checked the erogenous zones she had found, quadruple checking the ones that made him especially vocal. 

The neck, ears, and ass were all rather standard.  However, she was delighted to find that his ass was significantly more sensitive than she had anticipated.  He responded quite nicely to a good spanking, his dripping pre-cum pooling on the sheets before she decided to move onto other areas.  He had something of a sensitive spot on his underarms: nibbling on his triceps made him moan.  He preferred ropes to handcuffs—even the fuzzy ones—and he squirmed beautifully when she raked her nails down his back. 

By the time she had moved on to the bullet vibrator, he was ready to burst, but he wasn’t as delirious as she wanted him, so out came the gloves, the lube, and the clamps. 

“I mean, you _are_ the generous donor, don’t you want to hear about my progress?” she teased as she flicked a clamp, making him gasp and shudder, hips bucking and begging for more. 

“I’d much rather… nngh… you let me…”

She noted how his diction had changed from simply stating that he wanted to cum to asking if she would allow it.  Good boy. 

“Cum?” she interrupted, turning the knob up to eight as she placed the remote down.  “Let’s see, let’s see… where did I put that thing…” 

She began rummaging through the shoebox of sex toys they had bought earlier in the afternoon.  It had been an interesting experiment to see what they both pulled off of the shelves, consulting with each other about a few of them, the store clerk giving them his best alluring stares and hinting none-too-subtly about joining in their escapades. 

“Aha!”

She pulled out the strap-on with a flourish, a manic gleam in her eye.  On her own, she and Levi made enough income to be able to afford the more expensive toys, but they were both rather frugal personalities.  While they were comfortable enough making purchases in the middle tier ( _if you skimped too much on the financial front, the decrease in quality couldn’t make up for the savings_ ), the top tier selection usually felt a bit extravagant.  But when Erwin was buying—and when he was open-minded to trying all manner of new and exciting things—she had fewer qualms about her choices.  Finding a 2-strap harness with multi-function dildo with _two_ removable vibrating internal plugs had been a treat. 

Removing the anal plug, she applied a small amount of lube to the g-spot plug before straddling Erwin’s chest, being careful not to snag the harness against his nipple clamps.  Given that his hands were tied, she couldn’t exactly request help fingering her, but she was more than self sufficient, and she may as well give him a bit of a show.  She pulled off the vinyl gloves with an audible snap before tossing them aside. 

Erwin leaned his head forward to bury his nose into her bush, inhaling deeply as she fingered herself on top of him. 

“Dirty boy,” she whispered. 

“Just for you,” he groaned. 

“Well, don’t I feel special.” 

She eased the g-spot plug into herself with a sigh before securing the straps around herself, adjusting them a couple of times for a near-perfect fit.  Reaching below, she flipped the switch to turn on the plug and let out a little yelp as it revved up. 

“How would you like to suck my not-so-metaphorical cock, handsome man?” 

“I don’t think you’d get… any actual stimulation from my sucking on… a… hah… a silicone dildo…” 

It was commendable how many words he could string together with the bullet going to town on his prostate.  He was likely getting acclimated to the sensation and that was no good.  But there was no rush, she’d step it up soon enough. 

“Oh, I’d get some visual stimulation for sure,” she purred, nudging the strap-on closer to Erwin’s parted lips.  “After all, we women aren’t lucky enough to be able to actually _see_ the yummy details when we’re being treated to oral.” 

“Would that you could.”

“And maybe you’ll discover that you really enjoy sucking dick, who knows?”  She reached for the remote dial and turned down Erwin’s bullet down to four.  “If you want me to rev that pretty back up, your mouth should get to work.” 

And work he did.  There was no denying that Hanji was an open-minded woman, largely unbound by the rules of the patriarchy.  But the notion of a phallus as a symbol of power was rather deeply ingrained.  So yes, she did get a kick out of seeing a man like Erwin submit to her will. 

“Mmm… you’d look delicious with a big, burly man rimming you.”  She pulled out of his mouth and moved off of him towards the bedposts to untie him enough so that she could flip him over off of his back.  “I have a friend named Mike…” she offered while retying his hands together. 

“Zoe…” he mustered.  “Just fuck me.” 

“Such language for such a proper man!” she giggled.  “But I’ll oblige.”

She removed the clamps, rubbing gently at the abused nipples before urging him to get on all fours and spread his knees nice and wide.  Pulling slowly on the cord, she eased the bullet out to the sweet accompaniment of his soft gasps and moans.  His entire body was on edge, sensitive to every small amount of skin contact.   Perfect.   

Once she was in, it was only a short while before he came into her hand, his powerful back arching beneath her.  She milked him for every last drop until his body shuddered and pulled away from her touch, every bit of contact like fire on his skin. 

“Oh g-god… Hngh…” 

“Shhh…” she cooed as she pulled out slowly and rubbed slow circles on his lower back.  “Beautiful man…” 

She flicked off the plug and gently unstrapped herself as she helped lay Erwin gently down and untie his hands. 

“Here, have some water.”  She had prepared a glass next to the bed in advance and held it up to his parched lips.  He drank it down greedily, and she gently wiped away the sweat on his brow. 

“Untie me?” 

“Sure.” 

His body was all shivers, spine tingles, and dancing needles on his skin.  He had never had such a thorough fuck in all his life. 

“You did much better than I expected for your first time.  Apparently you’re much kinkier than either of us anticipated.”  She snuggled into his arms, happy to play the role of little spoon in after-cuddling, regardless of her recent role as dom. 

“Are you staying tonight?” he asked into her hair, wrapping his arm firmly around her midsection and pressing the entire length of his body against hers. 

“No.  House rules.” 

It was the one thing she could never bring herself to do.  Sex didn’t leave her nearly as vulnerable as falling asleep in someone’s arms. 

“Well, before you leave, I’d like to thank you for tonight.” 

“So formal,” she pouted.  “It’s no wonder I never stick around.” 

“Does intimacy mean foregoing common courtesy?”  he nuzzled into her ear. 

Snorting into the sheets, Hanji laughed, “Basically, yeah.” 

“So at what point would you consider us truly intimate?” 

“I dunno.  My point of comparison is my relationship with Levi.”

“Your roommate?” 

“Yeah.  We share bullet vibrators, steal each other’s sweaters, throw vegetables at each other when cooking, and he’s more likely to call me ‘shit-for-eyes’ than by my actual name.”  She laced their fingers together absentmindedly.  “But I trust him with anything and everything.” 

His thumb ran over her hand in momentary silence before he added,

“I have plenty of sweaters for you to steal if there’s one to your liking.” 

She laughed, and Erwin loved the way it rippled through her body and shook them both. 

“Trying too hard.” 

But when he woke up the next morning alone, he was pleased to find a cashmere sweater missing from his wardrobe.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write some Eruhan smut featuring Erwin as a bottom so I snuck it into this AU.

**Author's Note:**

> Finally finished enough of this to where I was satisfied with it, written for a trade with Zhelly (bunnytaichou) on Tumblr. She gave me the sugar daddy Erwin prompt along with a request for Hanji in a suit, and a dose of smut. I hope I delivered everything to your satisfaction; this was a lot of fun to write, I'm not gonna lie. I may or may not continue the story at a later date (depending on interest), but 11,000 words was getting pretty lengthy for a one-shot, so I found myself a decent stopping point and wrapped it up there.


End file.
